Finding Christmas

December 19, 2007 ...it's late at night.

I’m still working on Christmas, I’ve been working for over a month, and I still don’t feel as though I have done enough. Will each child know how much I love them? Will each person on my list accept my gift as a token of my high esteem for them? Will I disappoint them with my choices? Have I touched enough people?

Tonight, I wept because I really miss Christmas. I miss everyone saying, “Merry Christmas!” as I walk through the shopping centers. I miss Christmas carols playing in every store and on every radio station. I miss the feeling of excitement that something special is coming. I miss the smells of pine and cinnamon. I miss my Daddy’s joy. I don't think I have seen one "Babe in a Manger"! Obviously, I've been going to the wrong places! (The disappointing Internet, for instance.)

Oh, I guess it’s the children that make Christmas exciting, and when that special day arrives and you all come walking in my door, I’ll find what I am missing. As for my inadequate gifts…I thought of the one perfect gift, the one that God gave to man. He gave all he had, and even then, some reject the priceless gift of love. I too want to follow the example, I want to give the perfect gift of love…

With each gift I wrapped, I filled the package with all the love that I had. I dwelled on each person, their personalities, their accomplishments, their sweet spirits and I prayed for you as I decorated your package carefully, with beautiful paper and ribbon. I have given you my best because I love you so much. You are my gift from God and I cherish you and pray that you have all the blessings that come with Christmas.

Now, he lies in his manger,
Speaking with infant lips,
Calling to all, to you and me,
"Whatever troubles you,
whatever you lack -
Release it, dear brother:
In your Creator's fullness,
I bring everything new again."

There, I feel better and the manger was here, in this house, all along.